Are you comfortable asking for a favour?

Can you graciously accept someone’s offer to help?

Several years ago, my first instinct was to decline.

I always felt I could manage on my own, that I didn’t want to be obligated to anyone. Because If I accept a favour, I must offer something in return… right? 

Wrong. Something I’ve learned over over time is that there’s a flow to offering and accepting help — similar to how Reiki flows within our bodies. (If you’re not sure what I mean, give this short video a watch.)

When I first came to Canada, a member of my extended family (who I had previously never met) invited me to a get together. I didn’t have a car, but I was fine taking public transportation. It just meant it would take me twice as long to get there.

But the person who invited me also arranged for me to be driven to the event and back. Every time. Not once did I feel comfortable accepting their act of kindness. I thought: I will have to do something in return, and I have nothing to give back.

But here’s where I was getting it wrong. Just because we accept something from Person A doesn’t mean we have to return the favour to that same person.

Years later, when I was in a position to give rides to newcomers, I realized I was paying it forward… to Person B. I willingly offered to do pick-ups and drop-offs as often as I could. And I didn’t expect anything in return.

I know now that give and take is like a big circle. While we may not be in the position to return a favour today, we will most definitely be given an opportunity to give back in the future. It may not be to the same person, or in the same way. But that’s not what matters.

Once I realized there was a flow to giving and taking, it became easy to graciously accept others’ help. Because it is not an obligation. And I did not have to return anything to the person who was offering help.

The moral of this story is: Don’t be the type of person who only gives. If you are a giver by nature, learn to accept help too. Otherwise, you will burn out eventually. Perhaps gracious acceptance is a skill more difficult and more important than giving. (Do you agree?)

These days, I like to think that I receive from a person on my left and I give with my other hand to a person on my right.

It’s kind of like how the energy flows at a Reiki Circle. Because when we accept help from one person and offer help to another, the energy flows.

And we need the energy to flow — among us — not just within us.

So next time someone offers help, will you accept? Tell me what you think in the comments below!

Here is the link to watch the full video on this.

With love, light & balance ∩(︶▽︶)∩

Nasreen